Thoughts of aggression

Anger is an emotion that everyone seems to experience but few truly understand. Sure there are times when you are angry because you just broke favorite vase, or watched your neighbor run over dog with a smile on his face, but for the most part anger is never so black and white. Most of the things that get us angry are merely catalysts that give us the final push into mini-hulk like dispositions. Was it really the snide remark that made you angry or was it the fact that you had a mountain of repressed issues that revolve around someone or people who get uppity with you. We brush so much aside not realizing that all we have done is defer the emotion to a later date down the road. A perfect example of the hidden reasons relating to anger being when you see some soccer mom yelling at some poor casher in BurgerKing for forgetting to remove the pickles off her burger. While at first glance it seems like the lady just hates pickles, in reality it could be because she is tired of feeling like no one listens to her instructions. Her husband never takes out the trash on time or her kid is constantly leaving his/her toys all over the house. ( Poor Lady, maybe some icecream will help her but I digress)
So here is my plan that I think everyone should partake in, well actually I only want you guys to think about it. Whenever someone slights you or touches a nerve, no matter how small it may be, let it go. Instead do what I would do (WhatWouldBrettDo) find their toothbrush and put it in the toilet. If you can’t obtain their brushing utensil then the next best thing, get their phone and dial a long distance sex phone line and tell them you only want to listen. This way you put the phone down and let the sex talker lady run on and on while you make your stealthy get away. Victory will be sweet, everyone will think you’re the bigger person for not retaliating while you have the satisfaction of knowing that you have returned he slight a million fold.
Just a little snippet of my mind as I sit on my toilet eyeing my roommates toothbrush after having to tell them for the millionth time to shut the fuck up for screaming like a bunch of retarded monkeys at 3 in the morning.

I now ask myself …… WWBD?

Friendship

This week has been a wake up call of sorts. It seems that school has decided to enforce a new policy of "we don’t care if you don't like all the work we intend to give you, so do it and like it... biatch". My friends when I say that accounting and business is the most boring subject man has ever had the need to create, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. With each passing day I realize how dull and boring business is. Its application is immensely useful however the process of obtaining the degree that proves to a future employer that you wasted four years of your life learning how to play with numbers is rather annoying. Luckily attending university is more than just going to classes and bending over for professors to take advantage of you however they see fit.

Friends are one of the main things that keep me going when it seems like i should just stay in bed all day. Each one provides an enriching experience that targets a certain passion, hobby, or interest that helps provide vibrancy to life. I worry though if my friends truly know how much they mean to me ... I also wonder how many people think that we are friends but in reality I am just being civil with them. More to the point though, if there really is one to be made anyhow, I feel it really important that everyone should feel that they have friends around them. When I say friend i mean that person who you can confide in and not feel like you need to censor yourself because you think they wont get you. I am talking about that person who is will to hear you out and know when you just want someone to hear you out, and when you want someone to argue with so you can get to the bottom of how you really feel. That person who you don't need to explain the nature of your relationship to, there is an unspoken understanding of what the two of you are comfortable with doing. These are friends, not the person who you just met two seconds ago and can't remember their name or what their farts smell like.

The world today is filled with these associates who masquerade as friends. Sure some day they may become friends and all will be peachy keen, until that day though they are not the concern of my rant. The only purpose they serve right now is to highlight the difference between my conception of friend and what i consider someone a person knows in passing. I feel it necessary to point out that the comment about knowing their fart was me being a wee bit facetious but its still a good point.
If there is anything I hope whoever has the misfortune of reading this could take away from it is that one should value and love thine friends deeply. They will support you when you fall by being concerned about you until you get better ... then they will remind you of how funny the whole ordeal was depending on if it truly was funny or not. Political correctness need not dictate how you speak with each other, as the two of you know that there is no malice in your words towards each other. A friend knows that some times you will have to take a hit for the team. Case in point being when you go out and they want to go home with the hot girl who is surrounded by her fugly friends. As a friend it is your job to ensure that none of her fugly troop stops him (or her) from getting some apple pie and ice cream << for those unaware this is my code for relations ). Should friends feel the need/urge to get physical they know each other well enough to at least talk about their feelings. Ok that last part is a bit hard ( or really easy ) but true friends can talk about these things and find away to either engage in some hot and steamy nights or just be able to have someone they know they can call and sleep next to when they feel like having another soul next to them. I have always had a peeve about people feeling that two people are more than friends because they sleep in the same bed together. Such insecurity about said scenario is saddening but is one that is inherent in culture brought up on religion and sex. I shall leave this post with some pictures of friends that I took this week. I hope this note and the pictures that follow will provide some sort of insight into how I see the people around me and why I value those I call friends.

When the fantasy comes to an end

Tomorrow will mark the day that a black man, well half black but good enough for me, takes the position as president of the United States of America. Most people are ecstatic about this shift in the world, as we know it. They speak of change, progress, and most importantly hope of a better tomorrow. While I am more than happy for these people to feel and think this way, I am not one to shit on other's parades, I am a bit skeptical of how this presidency will pan out. "Le gasp... doubt in Obama is this guy a republican or something" Well no I am not republican but yes I am something and that something is a pragmatist. Hear me out for just a second and promise you to will slowly and safely float down off of your little cloud and join me on the nice meadow below.
First off kids lets be honest with each other, though Mr. Obama jumped a huge hurdle by being elected, it pales in comparison to the one he must now face. He has two wars, a middle east conflict, an international as well as domestic economic downturn, four major powers that are challenging America's status as sole super power (China, India, Russia, The EU.... ok that last one is debatable but you get the idea), and lastly but far from least ensuring that his party continues to back him. These are but the few details I wish to bring up before I get to the point of this little post-it-note, but I am sure your asking yourself why would the last point mentioned above be an issue. For the answer to that we now turn to our handy dandy history books and look at good ole Bill Clinton and the flaws of his presidency. Now lets try to think past the intern who decided to engage in aggressive negotiations with Clinton in secret that ended up not being very secret at all because she was nasty and did not wash her clothes. Instead look at the fact that Clinton met extreme hindrances from his own party who he just couldn’t seem to get to agree with him. If you don’t believe me just look up what happened due to NAFTA. Mmmmm that sounds familiar, it sounds familiar because it is the same agreement that our good friend Obama wishes to readdress.
Now we can talk about why I even bothered to mention all of the above. Like I said earlier I am not one to shit on some one else’s parade, mostly because it is unsanitary, but I truly pity poor Mr. Obama. When the world finally realizes he is but a man and not the second coming of Christ/Mohammad/Buda, I hope they are not too disappointed. This seems to be the case with ever president to date, they come in with the best of intentions but are slowly picked apart by not only their original critics but by those closest to them.
Everyone has expectations, hell I have expectations of people I dot even realize half the time, but at some point you have to realize that you are setting this poor man up for failure. When I say failure I don’t mean that he can’t do what he proposes. I say it to mean when he miscalculates or enacts policy that no one sees the result of in the time span of his first term, don’t freak out. Remember this good-gooey-happy feeling you have right now. Here is a little piece of perspective. After world war two Japan and Germany were in the shitter in every sense of the word, but look at them now… well Japan is returning to the shitter but that’s not my point. It took them almost fifty years to get back to a state of comparative normalcy. We are not going to see any major changes in the poop we are in right now for at least a decade. That sucks but its life.
I am sure all of you are now compelled to find out more about the problems that are ahead of poor Mr. Obama and know that it would be best to side with me on this one. I came to this conclusion because I had this very same discussion with a few peers in class today. From the out set I knew I would win this argument because I use mouthwash. Sadly my peers were no match for minty fresh rhetoric and as such were defeated in a clean plague free manner.

The fragile live's we lead

How many times have we looked into the eyes of some else and ask ourselves what they are thinking? Are they thinking about us and if so is it something we would be interested in hearing out loud? So many little questions run through our heads in the blink of an eye as we meet the gaze of our fellow man. Sadly one of three things is most likely going through their head, all of which rather hilarious really. First they are probably asking theselves the exact same type of questions that you are now so lost in thought about you're walking like a drunk because your feet can't find a foot hold in the snow. Second option is a little bit better and tends to be alot more common, they dont even notice that you're there and continue on about their day completely devoid of your questioning gaze. Of course this can never be the case right, for we are far to important to be ignored and as such they must be thinking something to do with us. Lastly we have the option that is the one we hope for ... they are thinking about all the magical and fairytale like things they will do today and have now come to the conclusion that seeing as though the two of you are sharing this eye to eye moment an atempt at conversation is now obligatory.
I say all of that to put into context the thoughts running through my head as i sit in class waiting for something worth writing down to come out of my professor's mouth. Little did i know, everything he was saying was worth writing down so the joke's on me when exams roll around. Back to the moment at hand though. As i was saying, i sit there watching my sixty something year old professor run on and on about the break down in the bonds of community, all the while saliva starts to pool then harden on the outskirts of his lips giving him the image of a stroke victim. This sight captivates me while at the same time pleads with my better judgment to look away. When my judgment finally chooses to kick in it is then that we catch each others eyes. I don't know how i never noticed her before. It could have been her unassuming smile or her deep hazel eyes that instantly sent my mind racing with thoughts, this is where the first paragraph comes in kids, but whatever it was she intrigued in a way that i haven't felt in quite some time.
The next thirty minutes of class seemed to fly by without notice as we sat there shooting glaces back at each other almost as if we were having a meet and greet. If i could put it into words it would probably go something like this:

Her glance with a smile: "hi, i see your bored of this lecture as well"
I glance back with a slight smirk to my smile: " yeah its not all that interesting well except the
huge pool of spit on the prof's mouth lol"
She moves her hair out of the way: "so i think we should talk when we get out of class"
I move my hair out the way: "that sounds like a good idea. would you like some coffee?"

You get the idea. The only problem i now faced was the idea of what will happen when we actually talk. I mean lets be realistic what if she sounds like a man ... well that isn't really that realistic of a thought but to say it didn't pass my mind would be a lie. That and what would happen if she smelt funny, this however is a serious and highly possible concern. What my tiny little mind scape failed to think of to ask itself however is "what if she wasn't even looking at me". Luckly fate took the liberty to point out this fact to me as class ended and i saw her walking my way, the gentleman who she was really talking to came up from behind me and met her half way. Needless to say this was a moment of internal comedy as well as shock. Comedy because i had managed to make up my own little world that involved sharing a connection with a girl who probably couldn't tell me apart from a ham and cheese sandwich. And shocking due to the fact that her lack of attention didn't really hurt my feelings. I will admit i looked around to see if anyone noticed this whole event unfold live and free of commercials. Luckily fate spared me the awkward looks that usually come with such an uncouth display of nonverbal cues.

This lesson in realizing im not the center of the world was one that was rather refreshing. It reminded me that not everything will always be ripe for the picking. It also brought to my attention that i should probably focus more in class so i dont flunk out.

More to the heart of this train of thought though, this little event makes me think back more and more to how i met the last girl who changed my enitre world. Thoughts of her keep me company as i nurse my injured pride on the way back home .... sadly i fall on my face due walking in the ice/snow while lost in thought.

... Im beging to think Fate hates me or loves me and shows it like seven year old. The jury is out on this one.